A Rolling Deicidal Arsenal


HE’s made a universe in which most creatures die pointless, tortuous deaths after disappointing their Dads.  Payback’s a long time coming, bitch. And forget that trifle in Bethlehem two thousand years ago. As Borges’ commentator in “Three Versions of Judas” remarks, an afternoon on a cross hardly cuts it. That is, unless Christ, like Judas, was damned and still suffering in some benighted pocket of His own creation.

That’s an admittedly satisfying prospect, but even this doesn’t really get God off the hook; just shows His sadism (and masochism) to be infinitely more messed up than mine or yours. Dear reader, the only solution to immanent theology is Annihilation.

Admittedly, this is not sophisticated theology we’re talking here. We’re assuming that God belongs to the category of beings rather than some bullshit “ground” of same or hyperbolically transcendent posit of Negative Theology. Fuck that. He’s gotta hurt. He’s gotta be properly messed up before the coup de grâce.



So where to begin? Well, I for one don’t know how to flush away a Gaseous Invertebrate. Don’t know enough physics, let alone metaphysics. But in order to sustain us on our path towards his tortuous and inevitable demise we can at least draw inspiration from some fictive Deicidal weapons. So here’s a modest running list that I intend to add to from time to time as the fancy takes me. Any realistic suggestions will be welcome. We’ll need ’em in the struggle to come.

1) Stormbringer

Stormbringer, the black sword wielded by Michael Moorcock’s doomed albino prince, Elric of Melniboné, mulches souls and turns them into an energy drink. If God is a spiritual being, He’ll be vulnerable to soul-sucking black swords. Stormbringer is the shit when it comes to god-killing and Elric cuts a swathe through the divinity of Moorcock’s multiverse. The only drawback I can see to using the black sword on the God of Abraham is that the backwash of energy might turn His killer into a further iteration of the same. You become the thing you hate, eh? Finding the fucker shouldn’t be a problem. He’s co-terminous with all time and space. A simple poke should do it.


8 thoughts on “A Rolling Deicidal Arsenal

  1. too late for that I’m afraid, now if you could exorcise the multitudes of hauntings that would be another thing, maybe some kind of brain-surgery would do the trick until we can come up with a genetic fix for afflicted fetuses…

  2. “Language bearers, photographers, diary makers
    You with your memory are dead, frozen
    Lost in a present that never stops passing
    Here lives the incantation of matter
    A language forever”

  3. Thanks, Scott. It’s a rant sure. Was real pissed off that day due to reading a book proposal by some wretched Schoolman with more money and status. the pleasures of sublimated rage shouldn’t be underestimated. Wanna get off killing gods too.

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